Discovering Lupus

When I got married I was fairly indifferent about wanting a baby. It was something we talked about but always "in the future". It wasn't until my sister in law was going through Leukemia that I realized I didn't know what we were waiting for anymore. My brother and SIL had been wanting another child (they each have a beautiful daughter from previous relationships) and due to her treatments this was no longer possible.

I basically came to the conclusion that the longer I waited, the more chances of something preventing me getting pregnant. To make a long story short, I did have some issues and went through a bad year before I finally was able to carry a child. I listened to everyone say how they loved being pregnant, that it would always be something to be treasured, and it was the best time of their lives.

THEY LIED!!!

I was absolutely miserable. From the time I reached 6 weeks until the day I delivered I was sick. Within a 10 day period I lost 17 lbs. My OB-GYN prescribed Zofran and that was the only way I was able to keep food in. I had horrible swelling that would come all the way up to my knees. Pitting edema was the worst - that's where you can press a finger against your leg and an indention remains. I could play tic tac toe on myself! I knew I had a rough time but couldn't really understand why.

Fast forward several months - beautiful baby boy is born and I'm starting to feel much better. After a few months I notice I'm getting a lot of headaches, I'm sore a lot even if I've only done a little walking while shopping. The worst was all the colds. Every time anyone around me got a cold I was bound to get sick. It was like I was catching every little bug that was going around. Then I got a 24 stomach flu virus thing. I was actually wishing for death at that point. After I got over that it was a cold every month or so. I was always joking that my son was getting me sick from daycare. He had his own problems with ear infections. I asked my doctor about it and was told my immunity was low because of childbirth and to not worry about it.

I found a new doctor after my son reached his 15 month. The muscle pain was getting worse. I'm a personal trainer and teach several exercise classes a week so I'm constantly active and lifting weights. I'd teach my kettlebell class and have difficulty walking the next day and picking up my son. I went to a new doctor and he ordered a whole battery of tests. Everything came back negative. He ordered an ANA and RA tests. Specifically these are Antinuclear Antibodies test and Rheumatoid Arthritis. The RA came back negative but the ANA came back positive. It is very common to get false negatives/positives so he ordered an Anti Double Strand DNA test - that was positive as well. So it's pretty clear at this point and I really can't keep denying anything. The constant colds are due to my immune system attacking my muscles instead of foreign germs.

My next step is heading over to the Cleveland Clinic and meeting with a specialist. This appointment is next week and I have SO many questions to ask. I can deal with the current symptoms but I'm afraid they will get worse. The fatigue, muscle pain, joint pain, headaches and constant sickness are doable. It's the organ failure, heart problems, potential for dialysis and widespread infection that I'm more leery of. Lupus is an unpredictable disease and you can't really expect a normal course. I guess you never know where your life is going to take you either way. Hell, I could get in a car accident on the way to work today and this whole discussion is moot. It's just the expected unknown that's formidable.